By Nikki Bayley
Of course we love kids. We really do. Honest. It's just that sometimes we want a bit of grown-up time, and once you've escaped your own kids, very often the last thing you want is to hear someone else's! If you've been searching for a child-free holiday, then here's ten of our favourites, guaranteed to be completely free of howling babies and tantruming toddlers.
1. Escape to a Chateau
Your child-free break should be a chance to indulge in some serious me-time, and where better to flex your decadence muscles than in a French Chateau in the Loire valley? With Le Mans nearby for a spot of Ferrari test-driving then the amazing wine-tasting opportunities to steady your nerves after a few high-octane circuits, the 14th-century Chateau de la Barre makes for a grown-up getaway. Your hosts are the 20th generation of the de Vanssay family, and no under-12s are allowed. 'Bienvenue'!
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2. Adult-friendly Menorca
Don't be put off by Menorca's 'family-friendly' tag. It's still possible to find a child-free paradise on this beautiful Balearic island. The Audax spa and wellness centre have a no-under-17s policy and the hotel is dedicated to the gracious art of wellness and relaxation (or as we like to call it, marvellous massages and chilling out). From receiving a leisurely pummeling in the hydromassage pool, to kayaking, horse riding or even just snoozing on the nearby Cala Galdana beach, there are plenty of grown-up good times to be had.
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[See also: Top 10 naturist beaches]
3. Private beaches and no kids allowed
A brand-new boutique hotel boasting its own private beach, between the Red Sea mountains and the peaceful desert and dunes, is our child-free choice on the western coast of Egypt. The Makadi Spa offers Cinq Monde spa treatments, a super-sophisticated French brand that you'll find in some of the world's best spas. Suitably soothed and massaged, enjoy the tranquillity of the waves washing on the shore as you watch a stunning Makadi sunset - all without the sound of an over-tired toddler. Bliss!
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4. The full Brazilian
Brazil's Emerald Coast is where you'll find one of the country's most exclusive beach resorts, Ponta dos Ganchos. Only over-18s can enjoy the no-holds-barred ultra-luxe delights such as a private white sand beach and a private island where you can have a romantic dinner. Plus all the natural beauty this private peninsular has to offer, including whale watching and exploring the underwater world by snorkelling or scuba diving.
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5. Florida and kids free?
We got excited when we heard about this child-free break in family-friendly Florida. There's a whole adults-only island just three miles out to sea in the Gulf of Mexico! The Little Palm Island Resort and Spa is something of an ultra-luxurious retreat; no phones, TVs or under-16s. Go diving in the turquoise crystal clear waters, take a yoga class or just enjoy the delicious Pan-Latin and French food. Not a turkey twizzler in sight...
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6. Camping with a difference
Glastonbury isn't just about seeing whether you can spot Kate Moss wading through festival mud, no, there's also a stunning adults-only campsite there, with a difference - you don't have to put the tent up! The Old Oaks Touring Park has wooden camper cabins which have skylights so you can go to sleep watching the stars twinkle, snug as a bug in a king-size bed, and no chance of being woken by over-excited little 'uns at the crack of dawn!
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7. Child-free ski
It may be summer, but there's nothing wrong with planning ahead for some kid-free skiing. Try the Alpine Club's 'Adult Only' weeks where you can relax in a guaranteed Fisher-Price-free environment! Toasty fires, superb food prepared by the in-chalet chef and days of crowd-free skiing around St Martin de Belleville, which gives easy access to the 600km of piste of the Three Valleys network.
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8. Cornish Eco spa-di-da
Ever since we read about Cornwall's top spa, The Scarlet, we've rather fancied taking the train to Cornwall for a gloriously decadent eco-break. The hotel and spa work to a strict eco ethos - but with a luxurious edge - so a superb Michelin-starred chef service locally-sourced delights, an outdoor reed bed swimming pool and cliff-top hot tubs. What's not to love? Now we know that it's adults-only, we'll be booking in soon!
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9. All aboard from some adults-only fun
Increasingly cruising is becoming a family affair, but if you want a child-free voyage, try a Cruise & Maritime who specialise in adults-only, no-fly cruises. Escape to Amsterdam and Antwerp for three nights over the Bank Holiday, smug in the knowledge that you have secured one of the few child-free spaces at the end of the summer holidays!
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10. Kid-free Caribbean
Love the Caribbean? Hate sharing your time in paradise with the nappy set? Then look no further than St Lucia's Jade Mountain, with its 'no children under 15' policy. Check out stunning views of the Piton Mountains and the glittering, impossibly azure-blue waters while you laze on the terrace, enjoying the peace and quiet, and yes, quite possibly sip on a tropical fruit cocktail. Bliss!
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